A Love Uncommon

I walk the alleys, my face no one sees.

I don’t mind, on this night, he is my goal,

my hope.  I long to leave these dusty streets,

my occupation has taken its toll.

I intrude on the dwelling where he rests,

a guest of influence.  I am not afraid.

As tears fall, I clutch the vial at my breasts,

a musky scent purchased to boost my trade.

His feet, filthy and mud stained catch my tears,

I use my long, dark hair to wipe them clean.

Perfume and kisses flow and his host sneers

as his hand cups my chin. With eyes that gleam

he gently says, “do you see this woman?”

“She has shown me much love, a love uncommon.”

.

A Love Uncommon.  By Caryn Poling

This sonnet was inspired by the sinful woman in the Bible, Luke 7:36-50.  The woman, a prostitute barged into a Pharisees home to meet Jesus and ended up anointing Him with perfume  and washing His feet with her tears and hair.  This is one of my favorite passages.

A Guest Post

:

Featured Today

What a fantastic Monday in April.  I hope your Easter was truly blessed.  I know mine was.  Praise God for such a gift.  We have life because of Jesus Christ.

Today I am very blessed to once again be guest posting over at (in)courage.  This is the third time they have allowed me to be their guest and oh what a privileged to be among such beautiful, gifted and godly women.

Here is the link if you would like to read it.   To Come Alongside   I pray this blesses you.



Should you need a change in attitude or are craving a little chocolate, here are my first two guest posts at (in)courage.    Enjoy!!

A Change of Attitude

Holy Tempering

Jesus Said to Her...

  Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb  and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

 They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

   “They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.”  At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

   Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” 

 Jesus said to her, “Mary.”      

John 20:11-16 (NIV)

 

Mary thought He was the gardener!   

She did not recognize Him.

Not until...

Jesus said to her,"Mary."

It took the sound of her name for her to recognize Him. 

I must confess, I envy Mary a little, she heard her name spoken, she heard His actual voice.  Her name came from His lips. 

Think about the way someone you care about, someone you love says your name.  The inflection.  The special way your name rolls off his or her tongue. 

It has been just over two years since I heard Him call my name and I recognized Him.  He had always been there, I guess I thought He was the gardener.  I heard Him, He said my name, in my heart. 

I look forward to the day I hear my name spoken from the lips of Jesus. Will He have a special way of speaking my name, reserved only for me?

Is He saying your name today?  I promise it is not the gardener.  Answer Him.

Don't you just love the way He says your name?

And...

Jesus said  to her...

 

The Last Supper - Beloved.

I love this song, it is one of my very favorites.  I week or so ago I watched this second clip by Tenth Avenue Norths lead singer, Mike Donehey.
Pause the mp3, listen to the song then watch the video journal.

Enjoy,
Caryn

Love of My life, look deep in My eyes, there you will find what you need.
Give Me your life, the lust and the lies, the past you're afraid I might see.
You've been running away from Me....

CHORUS:
You're My Beloved, lover I'm yours.
Death shall not part us, it's you I died for.
For better or worse, forever we'll be.
My love it unites us, and it binds you to Me.
It's a mystery.

Love of My life, look deep in My eyes, there you will find what you need.
I'm the giver of life, I'll clothe you in white, My immaculate bride you will be.
Oh come running, home to Me.

(CHORUS^)
Well you've been mistress My wife.
Chasing lovers that won't satisfy.
Won't you let Me make you My bride,
you will drink of My lips, and you'll taste new life.
(CHORUS^)

Vanity’s Deception

The following is an essay I wrote for my final project in my composition class.  I was very pleased with the outcome and decided to post it here.  I updated it a bit for this blog.Hope you enjoy.

 

I have been baking for as long as I can remember.  Growing up, as many little girls, I had an Easy Bake Oven to play with.  However, I was never satisfied with using the pre-mixed packages; I always made up my own recipes.  For the most part they were awful, but much more fun than adding water to something someone else made.  In my teens I took a Wilton cake decorating class with my mom and my sister, there I discovered my creativeness and from then on I was hooked. Nearly four years ago when my daughter joined the Navy she encouraged me to go back to school, to study baking and pastry and work in the industry doing what I love.  While in school I discovered I had a real talent working in chocolate, and in chocolate I found a new passion.

During my Chocolates and Confections class, Spring 2011, we were instructed to design and create a chocolate centerpiece.  Having worked in the beauty products industry I decided to design a piece that reflects the main focuses of the industry, youth and vanity.   I named the piece Vanity’s Deception.  The sense of this work is to convey the futility of focusing primarily on outward beauty and ignoring what is most important, the whole person.  The centerpiece is constructed entirely of chocolate.   The face, mask and roses are made of white modeling chocolate, the base is tempered milk chocolate and the crescents are tempered dark chocolate.   The tallest point is about 3” and is about 2” from side to side.  Vanity’s Deception is still on display in the schools dining lab.

While working for large cosmetics company I encountered many women, some only in their 30’s and 40’s, who were obsessed with turning back the hands of time.  Frequently while talking with these women I discovered they were bright, caring, and completely beautiful already.  The feeling of this piece is of desperation.  The face is of an aging woman, it is how she sees herself, and not necessarily as she is seen.  The mask is phony; it is sightless, emotionless and only reflects the outward appearance, it is the face she feels she must acquire to be seen as beautiful.  The rose petals represent youth floating away, out of reach.  I felt that adding two roses one full of life and in full bloom, inward beauty, the other wilting away, outward beauty, was a way to show that beauty is not only skin deep, but  there can be a beauty in aging.  The way life is lived and enjoyed goes far beyond outward appearance.

Our society is obsessed with youth, shape and physical appearance.  Television, magazines, internet sites, billboards and countless other media scream “the only way to be successful is to be young, thin and beautiful.”  It is a lie so many women believe and spend countless dollars in an attempt to stay young, be skinny and become what she feels she is not.   I set the tone of this piece purposely dark.  The tempered dark chocolate crescents moving the youthful rose petals out of reach of the woman.  The rose’s leaves are dark, dying and crumbling; the expressing on the woman’s face is one of melancholy and depression.  I purposely accentuated the lines and wrinkles to show how the woman sees herself.  The mask is the most important part of the piece.  The dead eyes and expressionless face is the result of reaching for something in reality she cannot achieve.  It is the face I have seen on many women who have had plastic surgery after plastic surgery in an effort to avoid growing old.  The woman in the piece believes the lie.

I am not saying that improving, enhancing or taking care of the outward appearance is wrong.  I for one take very good care of my skin, use makeup, work out (sometimes) and so on.  My intention in creating Vanity’s Deception was to show what happens when caring more about outward appearance takes priority.  Growing old is part of life and life meant to be lived.  There was a time when old age was revered; gray hair was considered a crown.  Lines on the face meant achievement and experience, not a something to erase.  Today our society seems to view old age as failure, something to be avoided at all costs.  Proverbs 31:30 tells us, Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

I go to church with several women well into their 70's and 80's.  Let me tell you about some women that don't listen to the lie.  Their hair is white or gray, faces are lined with years, but when they smile, the face is ageless,the laugh is the laugh of a girl and talking to them is like talking to a vibrant, beautiful young woman.  Their heart belongs to Jesus, they love others completely and live life fully. 

I really enjoyed working  on this piece and working in chocolate made it all the more fun.  A thought came to me while writing this, something to think about. 

When you look in the mirror do you see laugh lines or do you see lines because you laughed? 

With Christ at the center of my life I know what my answer is. 

Just Who is this About Anyway.

(Sigh!!!!)  It has been pretty quiet here at "a disposable woman".  God pulled me away for awhile.  Well actually, He has not given me anything to write about.  A funny thing happened a little while back, I'm not sure when, but happened none-the-less. 

For the past several weeks I would come here to write a post, I would sit and watch the little vertical line wink at me.

But no words, no doodles nothing.

My mind a blank.

It actually took me a while to finally see what was going on.

Somewhere along the way this little web-site became less about Him, and more about me.  I started seeing numbers, and comments.   Got a little full of myself there.   Ouch!

I lost my focus. 

My focus is back on Him!   My eyes back on Him.

This blog is His, in His hands.

Some changes have been made, music has been added, numbers and pages have been deleted.

It is not about page views, subscribers or comments.

I Write for ONE!

Our Great God is working in my life...showing me the direction He wants me to go.   The future of "a disposable woman", uncertain.    At least for me. 

Just thought you should know.

Caryn

My One Word 365

Click to learn more about One Word

One word can change everything.

Forget New Year’s Resolutions. Scrap the long list of goals that you won’t remember three weeks from now anyway. Choose just one word.

One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live or what you want to achieve by the end of 2012.

One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.

It will take hard work, and will require intentionality and commitment. But if you let it, your word will shape you and your year. It will guide your decisions and help you grow.

 I have been thinking and praying over my one word.  Today it came to me.  I tend to worry over tomorrow.  This year, with Gods help, that will change.

My one word that I will focus on this year,

 Thank you Melanie Moore for my One Word button.

In 2012 I will focus on the one day God has given me.  I will live that day as it is the only day.   

Today I will thank God for waking me - today.

Today my first thoughts will be of Him and I will praise His name. 

Today I will spend time getting to know the Lover of my soul more intimately.

Today I will pray for those I love who do not know Him.

Today I will pray for those I promise to pray for. 

Today I will pray for those who suffer.

Today I will pray for those who serve.

Today I will Love Him More.

Today I will encourage someone.

Today I will remember to say "I Love You" to someone I love.

Today I will seek His face and let Him guide me in every situation.  No matter how small. 

Today I will not put off what I can do today, I may not have tomorrow. 

Today I will keep my eyes open for "the least of these."

Today I will take a walk or lift some weights, I will eat healthy.  

Today I will take care of me. 

Today I will do my homework.

Today I will not worry about tomorrow because...

“... tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:34

Yes He Will!!!

A Tale of Christmas Eve Past and Present.

A tale of Christmas Eve's past.

Try to imagine picture with palm trees and sunshine :)

2009
There was a woman, a single mother who had raised a daughter and now lived alone.  This woman had just gone through many changes in her life.  A new job, family had moved away, her only child had joined the service and had just married.

She found herself very alone. 

And very lonely. 

She had friends but no one truly close.  She kept busy, but nothing filled her heart

One day she decided the answer to all her problems was to find a man and get married.  She needed a husband to love.  She was sure that would fix everything.

So she started dating again.  But found there was no man that could fill the void in her heart. They just broke it into many pieces.

This woman had been saved at a very young age but over the years had forgotten that all she needed is her Savior to love her.

Mean while there were times when she traveled around town she would pass by this church and would feel this tug on her heart.   "Strange"'she thought,"that never happens when I pass other churches."

Over a year this happened every time she drove by this church but she never stopped, she didn't go in. Until, one day in December of 2009 she drove by the church and noticed a sign with the times for their Christmas Eve service and decided that would be a nice way for her to spend the evening. 

Christmas Eve arrived and she had to talk herself into going several times.  Finally she made it to the church and walked through the doors.   She found a nice, safe place to sit in the very back corner of the church, as not to be noticed.

She was noticed, however. And he was not happy that she was there. 

She felt this darkness come over her.  The service started, the music played, the singers sang.  As it continued she began to tremble, the sounds coming from the stage were hideous, the songs she couldn't understand.  She would have run, but she didn't think her legs would work.

When communion was served she passed.  When the service ended she ran.

She vowed to never return. 

But God had other plans.  She still felt that tug every time she passed this church and on Palm Sunday 2010 she made her way through those doors again.  This time Someone else noticed, He was waiting for her and there He spoke words of love, softly to her heart.  And that day she fell sobbing into His arms.

Home again. 

Christmas Eve 2010

It has been a year since that Christmas Eve.  She is so excited to be attending the service tonight.  She has started to make friends.  Has joined a women's bible study.   Tonight is going to be so different from last year.  She can't wait.  She checks the times on the web site just to be sure.  The second service is at 8:00, great she has plenty of time.  

As she gets to the church she notices the parking lot is packed and no cars are pulling in. "Strange", she thought.   As she enters the service is in progress and coming to a close.  The times were wrong, the service started at 7:00.  Still she goes in, finds a back corner and with tears in her eyes watches a beautiful man, with a beautiful voice sing "O Holy Night".

She cries as she drives home.  At home while sitting on her sofa, her Love, her Savior comforts her.  He says to her, "My darling child, don't you know, don't you understand?  It's not about the service, or the songs, or even the day, it's about Me, and how much I love you."

My heart is full.

Christmas Eve 2011

Tonight I will attend the Christmas Eve service at 7:00, I've checked the times twice.  As I'm writing this I get a text from one of my dearest friends, "Will see you tonight in your new dress!!"   Oh how that makes me smile.

I hardly know that ghost of a woman from two years ago anymore.  God has on occasion allowed me to see me through His eyes, and oh how beautiful He sees me.

Yes, I'm two years older and have gained about 15 pounds since than, I can do something about that, the pounds ;).  But how I have grown and ALL because of Him.

That woman two years ago was troubled, desperate and very, very sad.   

Today I know joy, my heart is glad, and yes loneliness strikes on occasion, it doesn't stay long.

I pray that you find joy and peace this Christmas Eve and through out this coming year.  That you find contentment only in Him and that your answer to Him is always YES!

Monday's Meditation - Is Anything Too Small For Such A Big God?

Ephesians 6:18 (NIV)

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 

So let me ask this.  Is there any request too small for such a big God?

There are a lot of people in this world of ours.

There is terrible suffering and pain.

There are wars and tragedy, hunger and disease.

Is it possible our Great God may be too busy for the little things?

Little things, small desires, say like...

a dress?

I love dresses. They make me feel girly and pretty.

I haven't bought a new dress in well over a year.

Things I need, of course like  a new top or work pants.  But no new dresses.  Just has not been in the budget.

Please, don't take this wrong... I am so very blessed, He is seeing to my every need and than some.  I have nothing to complain or be sorry about. 

Hmmm, I would love a new dress though.

On Saturday last week I went to the mall to see if I could find a dress I could afford.   Something pretty and soft.

I found several I loved, but not the right price.

So I stopped a moment and prayed.  I told God I would love a new dress and asked for it.   

Yes, I asked God to help me find a dress.  

Ephesians 6:18 says "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests..."

So, is asking God to help me find a dress too small of a request?

Am I bothering Him with this petty little want?  It's not a need, I have clothes, it was definitely a desire.

I left the mall and drove to a shop that I remembered a woman recently told me she had bought this stunning dress she was wearing.

As I walked into the dress department, there it was, on the front bar of the clearance rack was the very same dress.  A peasant style in a very colorful patchwork print and a flippy, full skirt. 

Just lovely.   Just one.  My size.  

Marked down to $29.00.  

I was thrilled!  I grabbed it and a cute little hot pink number in nearly the same style, and headed to the fitting room.  The hot pink looked terrible on me, and I usually look good in that color, but the cut was wrong, it looked so bad I almost didn't try on the print, the styles were very similar, but I was "nudged" to go ahead and try it on.

WOW!  It looked great. :)

I almost never like something tried on in store fitting rooms. (Whats with that anyway?)

Leaving the fitting room I am literally skipping to the register.   Long line of course.  No big deal.

I get to the register...the clerk rings it up.

The dress comes to $16.00 with tax. :D

Well now I'm down right giddy.

As I leave the store the sun is setting and God is painting a glorious picture in the sky.

I get home, hang up my new dress and I notice the label....

Grace Dresses.   (LOL, I really love His sense of humor!!!!!)

OK, my point.   There is nothing, I will say it again, NOTHING too small or for that matter too big, that our loving, gracious Heavenly Father does not care about.

He loves us so much... He longs for us to bring it all to Him. ALL our requests, ALL our desires brought to Him in prayer.

And He knows each and every one of His children so well.

He knew for me a pretty, little frilly, flippy skirted peasant dress for $16 would make my heart dance.

So what would make your heart dance today?

Give it to Him.   Remember the second half of the verse...

"With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." 

Keep your eyes open dear sister for an answer and also be sure to pray for a sister you know today...whose heart could use a little dancing.

 

And one final thought.  If we would remember to go to Him in prayer with the small, it's possible, sometimes that small may never become BIG!

 

No Return Line!

Romans 6:23 (NIV)

 For the wages of sin is death, but the GIFT of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

This Gift I'm Keeping!

Be TOO Nice.

Luke 6:35-36

The Message (MSG)

"I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind."

In just over a week it will be CHRISTmas day.  The day of year that we celebrate God's kindness to the world.  The day we celebrate His gift to all of us.  

It's also the time of year everyone seems to go stark, raving nuts-o.  

I mean, MEAN!!!!

The news is full of stories...people who any other time of the year would give you the shirt off their back...wave you in front of them when trying to merge into traffic...let you jump ahead of them in line...

This time of year the enemy has a field day(s).  He does not want anyone to remember "The Reason for the Season". 

 And it looks like he's accomplishing just that.  

 It's frustrating. 

Nearly all my life I have been told "Caryn, you're just too nice."  

For a long time I believed just that, I really thought it was some kind of character flaw.  My friends, some of my family, bosses and co-workers would comment.

Am I a door-mat? - no I don't think so.

And for a period of time I really tried to be not-so-nice.  

It gave me indigestion and a headache, plus it made my heart hurt, just a little. 

When I let someone pull in front of me in traffic I feel good.  If I speed up and block them I feel my blood pressure go up. 

So,  here is my over-simplified answer to a happier, healthier and  peace-filled life.

Be Nice, Be Kind.  All Of The Time.

"I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind."

But most of all trust in the One who we celebrate this time of the year.  And celebrate Him everyday of the year.

After all the Gift of Kindness He gave us?

LIFE!

This is the true "Reason for the Season."